How to get from Berlin to Ljubljana

There are undoubtedly many ways to get from Berlin to Ljubljana as well as many reasons to do so. Maybe you go by plane, maybe by horse, or maybe by train. Maybe you have a meeting there, a dying grandmother there or just enjoy peeing there. I, personally, went the following way for the following reasons, maybe you will too! Here is how to do it just like me.

The first thing is you really have to want to go to Ljubljana. If you don't want to go there I suggest you go somewhere else. I stumbled upon wanting to go to Ljubljana with the help of a friend whose last name must be said with his first name, Micah Buckley-Farlee. Micah Buckley-Farlee and I have been friends for almost 8 years now. We met doing high school theater. We've never had the opportunity to be incredibly close but we've made up for that by doing a lot of the same things at different times. We've worked at the same coffee shop, shared some of the same friends, went to the same schools, studied the same language and both received a scholarship for a student exchange year in Berlin. In order to increase this list I've tried to enjoy techno and he's tried to bleed once a month. We can already add something very important, though, a trip to Ljubljana.

At first I wasn't conscious of my want to go to Ljubljana. I may or may not have known it existed at all, it's hard to say. But when Micah Buckley-Farlee asked me, "Do you want to go to Ljubljana?" I knew immediately that yes, yes I did want that.

The next question was how? How can this dream become reality? There we were in Berlin and in Berlin it's really fairly easy to see that you are not in Ljubljana. That was something I noticed right away. Maybe it will take you longer, have patience. Knowing this we knew we had to leave Berlin or there was no chance we were going to be anywhere else.

First we did what we knew. We took a regional train with our Berlin transportation tickets almost as far out as we could and ended up somewhere near Potsdam. We were not fooled, that was also clearly not Ljubljana. After a little walk around the area we decided to buy a map to give us a better idea of where Ljubljana might actually be. This helped tremendously, I can only recommend it.

(Right: "Every wall has a gate!" We spent a long time trying to find this particular one which led to this particular gas station)

Being at a gas station we saw cars and some of them were going in the direction we wanted to go. We made a sign (or rather Micah Buckley-Farlee made a sign because he could make letters of the same size, unlike others) and after one good talking to by an experienced Ukrainian hitchhiker, kindness of a man from Jordan, and three hours later we were at a different gas station also reachable by Berlin public transportation. Two hours after that we were dropped off by a Danish stove engineer (both he and the stoves are Danish) "near Dresden" or not near Dresden as the case may be.

It was just after sun down when we realized, hey, we're still here at this gas station. We thought it was perhaps soccer related because during the World Cup most everything is. So we waited for the Dutch to kick someone's butt before asking for a ride again only to be laughed at by big burly men about to go to bed at 10:30pm in their trucks.

After no sympathy from the gas station crew and a back up taxi number we started our walk to Bautzen. Micah Buckley-Farlee recognized this town as a place that makes mustard, so you can imagine we were pretty excited.

(Bautzen)

We looked for a hostel or a Pension or anything that wasn't a Holiday Inn, but all we could find was, yes, a Holiday Inn. And it was expensive. BUT we could exchange our pillows for slightly different pillows if we wanted.

The next day we decided to train it.

(This may look similar to standing at a gas station, but it's very different)

We spent the whole day on the train ending up in Munich in time for the Germany game. We had a beer and a sausage and tried not to throw up from the billions of 18 year old Americans glued to the bar at our hostel which wasn't much cheaper than the Holiday Inn but did include two free shots. We stuck it to the man and didn't order anything else there.

(And whoa, they had beer in the vending machine)

After a nice breakfast at the hostel we started hitchhiking again. We got as far as Rosenheim with a man from Georgia.

(It was HOT and my skin is still a little bubbly and peel-y from standing in this exact spot even though I had already applied sunscreen three times)

A couple hours later we got a ride to Salzburg from an Austrian man whose brand new car Micah BF ruined within one minute of being in the car. Then we got a ride from a woman from Ulm who missed her exit by a LOT and took us much farther than she intended. Good for us, sad for her.

We arrived in beautiful...

(I was there.)

(Get it? It's like the sign.)

And took a train to Villach and spent the night in yeah, a Holiday Inn. A more expensive one, but it had a red light in it and you could see through the glass walls into the shower and toilet. Micah BF and I are now very close.

The next day we had really had it with not being in Ljubljana. That was really enough of that. So we hopped on the train again and there we were!

(We chose pizza Burek over Human Fish. I regret it every day.)

(Traditional Slovenian, which seems like traditional all of this part of Europe)

Phone Bubble.

(We went out at night and found this cool place. Sadly we were too tired and didn't like the music enough to stay, but it was cool.)

And that was that. It is a nice, comparatively rich, modern, chic city. The people were nice and we were able to talk to everyone in either English or German. The next day we took the train back to Berlin because Micah BF had to hurry up and DJ and go back to the states. To get the best deal we had to spend four hours in Vienna which was partially and well spent eating cheese Spätzle and apple strudel.

(That picture on the right is a church, not the Strudel)

Then we took the night train to Berlin. Weighing the cost of a bed instead of a seat on the night train against drinking most of the night we went for the beer. One was bought by a man at one of the stops for a euro less than the people on the train were selling it for, smart man. It had a goat on it, maybe we were in Hungary at the time? I don't know, who cares, we were busy chatting up some young Germans and going to the bathroom.

Eventually we did fall asleep and we were in Berlin an hour after waking up.

So apparently it's easier to get from Ljubljana to Berlin. Just do that.

Fuck You Body

(From two years ago)

You better be better by the day after tomorrow. If I could pick one day to be in Berlin it would be the 1st of May and I am not going to be in bed with a fever for it. If I have to go dripping with sweat and freezing, I'll do it. Don't think I won't.

The 1st of May in Berlin is a very important day. The great people of Berlin get their chance to show how much they hate fascism, capitalism and more importantly how much they love beer. Also how much they love...communism? Well, you know, it's the workers' day. In the past they've shown these feelings through burning cars and raiding small stores, but the government has been trying extra hard to tone it down the last couple of years by adding more police and this year they're actually going to LIMIT THE AMOUNT OF ALCOHOL SOLD. And somehow bottles and cans aren't allowed? I don't think I understood that right. That's all just nuts. Plus they're rerouting the annual demonstration so it doesn't go through the main celebration.

I want see. Me.

GET BETTER BODY I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T KILL KILL

How to be furchtbar sick in Berlin

What you'll need:
- an embarrassing and/or horrible illness
- a bedroom to yourself
- a laptop
- almost no food
- 3 or 4 different doctors within walking distance of you house, most of them almost far away enough to take transportation. Almost.

- Skype

- Limewire

- several pairs of Pjs

- addiction to a TV show at least 6 seasons long.

What you can leave at home (ha):

- good health

- friends

- family members in the vicinity

- Mirrors (trust me)

- happiness

- clean sheets (that's right, ol' school)

This is just an example of how you could go about it.

1. Notice something is wrong, ignore it.

2. Realize you have a fever and are shaking and have no thermometer.

3. Spend around 45 minutes trying to figure out if your nice hippie family German doctor lady is open and realize she isn't and that you have to go to the "other one" a couple doors down from her.

4. Be mistaken for a crack addict.

5. Wait for an hour and 10 minutes in the waiting room in which you slowly make it from sitting in the chair to sitting on the floor to lying on the floor, to being asked to stop lying on the floor and finally to lying in the back until you see the doctor.

6. Be told you wouldn't know if you have a fever.

7. Be told your fever is 39.5 (103).

8. Remember you read you can get hallucinations at this temp, be disappointed and personally offended you aren't.

9. Be yelled at for not remembering the name of your last doctor or what street he was on (this was of course not Hippie family german doctor lady).

10. Be yelled at for not having anyone with you and think about how you would love to have someone with you.

11. Hear the doctor tell the next doctor that you can't speak German so gut. Be confused as to why you have to be labeled as not speaking German well but still have to listen to fast complicated medical German. Miss your nice hippie German doctor. Resolve not to get sick on a Thursday again.

12. Cry.

13. Make sure this doctor doesn't do anything helpful.

14. Be sent to another doctor.

15. This doctor can be nice, but she can't be helpful either.

16. Be sent to another doctor who will do something very painful and not immediately helpful to you.

17. Cry.

18. Come back the next day only then to go home and feel much worse and come back to have the worse thing in your entire life happen to you during which you must cry out in such pain that the children and adults in the waiting room lose all color in their cheeks.

19. Hate life.

20. Cry.

21. Continue to have a high fever every couple of days for the next 3-4 (god I hope not 5) days.

22. Skype with your parents who are more angry that they're not here than sympathetic.

23. Think about how maybe you need to step up the friend finding if no one has called you for a week, two weeks?

24. Think, in general, too much.

25. Use up most of your Gilmore Girl episodes.

26. Eat nothing because you have no food and would throw it up anyway.

27. Consider hiring a nurse every time you need to make yourself tea or get out of bed to change your sweaty Pjs or pee.

28. Download Salt-N-Pepa, want to be them.

29. Think about all the things you're missing that could have changed your whole future.

30. Cry.

31. Wonder if you died in you room if anyone would notice but your parents who expect constant updates.

32. Don't take movie recommendations from your mom.

33. Hate the gorgeous weather. But know that since it's going to rain tomorrow, you'll probably feel a little better then. (BUT YOU WON'T)

Oh, and be sure you try and make jokes with the German doctors who aren't having it. And for god sakes, don't be optimistic. And don't ever stretch your neck so it can get nice and bed-stiff. Maybe go to the grocery store once, but realize you only left with expensive tea because you were nauseous. And don't even get me started about how you didn't deal with the papers you need to get your money back from your mysterious private insurance...

That should about do it. Let me know if you have any questions.

Edit (Later that day at 20h):

34. Start talking to yourself in a mix of all the languages you don't really know and find it really funny.

35. Cry

36. Be annoyed that new fieber is only two points down from your record.

37. Eat your last popsicle.

38. Wonder who ate your popsicle. Think is was "those-damn-Germans"

The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

Thomas Alva Edison

The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.

Ayn Rand

Try a thing you haven't done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.
Virgil Thomson

And my favorite

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to it until you get there.

Harvey Mackay

According to everyone I've talked to in the last 5 days (besides my parents) my last name is Sea-moans. I've given in. My name is now Ruhbee Sea-moans.

Berlin Graffiti

Berlin's graffiti scene started in the 1980's on the wave of American hip hop music and culture. It came in slowly with minorities breakdancing in the streets of West Berlin, mostly 2nd generation southern Europeans and Turks. The first 'real' piece of graffiti was supposedly done by RAY near S-Bahnhof Sundgauer in Southwest Berlin in 1982.

(This is not that)

It began with individuals and some two-teams, but really started to explode with the fall of the wall in 1989, when graffiti became "cool". Those who had done graffiti before the fall of the wall became "old-school" and everyone else was "new-school". New-schoolers were different because of the old-schoolers' influence and the general explosion of information that happened when with wall opened, including the arrival of graffiti magazines.

The western side of the wall was considered a challenge by graffiti artists and they went to work covering it fairly early. This side of the wall was not guarded like the other side was. The eastern side stayed a dreary grey and white deswegen. The eastern side would be the part left standing as a memorial, as it was more of a real barrier than the western side. This would then be painted after the fall and become the longest open air gallery in the world and my dad would have a picture of him taken in front of it.

Graffiti in and on trains aren't as common as in NY city, but riding the S-Bahn on the ring or through the middle of Berlin is more or less like being in a moving graffiti gallery.

Not to say there isn't ANY in train stations and on trains, but most of it is cleaned up rather quickly and/or if it's a train it's removed from service. The fine can be up to 3,000 Euros, which may be the deterrent if you're not super gangster like THC.

There's a lot of English graffiti in Berlin, partly because a lot of graffiti artists travel to Berlin from other countries, but partly for the same reason so many Germans sing in English. (That reason being: they're dumb, or they're smart and want it to be understood by "everyone".) There is, however, a good deal in German.

(Fight Fascism)

(The border does not run between up and down, but between you and me)

Nowadays there are many graffiti gangs and individuals who paint similar pieces all over Berlin, such as this guy above, a angry Berlin bear, and some guy/s paints fists all over the place. 

But even with so much graffiti and how dirty Berlin is it still feels so safe (even though Berlin is the only place I've ever been molested (the bad kind, not the good kind)(well, that too)).

When my dad was here he asked about gangs in Berlin and I had no idea, I still have no idea. It's never talked about and I never see any. Where do all the drugs come from? Surely someone's fighting someone somewhere over something...in groups. If you know more about this, tell me. 

(an I-love-my-life moment)

The rollar coaster of being abroad continues.

Spring is coming and I can already tell it's going to change my life completely. I think it's going to make everything not so goddamn depressing.

I've finally been interested in taking walks again. Exercise and sunshine make everything so much better. If I'm depressed when I leave the house, I'm not depressed when I come back.

I'm starting to remember why I love Berlin so much. I leave the house and within 20 minutes I've found something weird.

On my last walk I found a outside petting zoo that just takes donations. Today I was also lucky enough to find a good cup of coffee and a view of the TV Tower and river. Not so weird, but still great.

There's also this amazing smell. I don't know if it's the grass or dirt or throw up that's not covered by the snow anymore or a mix of all three plus dog poop, but whatever it is it reminds me of what I think of as my crazy Berlin days, which may or may not have been so crazy.

I never remember the weather affecting me as much as it has this year. I get depressed and I think, why? Whyowhyowhyowhy, I don't want to be depressed. Then I think, oh hey, the sun hasn't shown it's bloddy face in OVER TWO WEEKS MAYBE THAT'S WHY.

But that's all different now. Now the weater is just going crazy. It's raining, it's snowing, it's sunny, it's cloudy. Usually it's doing at least three of those things at once. Sometimes it's schneeregen (sleet-ing?). I teach the kids "it's raining cats and dogs". They laugh. I cry.

My favorite fruits and vegetables are getting better and cheaper. And since in Europe it's the law that you go grocery shopping every day this makes a pretty big impact on my life.

(homemade salsa. homemade by me. be astound)

I've been pissed at both German and English lately and have mostly tried not to speak at all. This has proved to be difficult, but people seem to like me more.

(Germans: this is one of those things we Americans call a "joke" or "Witz" in your language. Now start taking some initiative and start recognizing them yourself. You don't have to laugh or anything crazy like that, just make a small polite smile.)