VISAVISUMVISAVISUMVISAVISUMVISAVISUMVISAVISUMVISAVISUM

I know I said post about something but visa...but...VISA.

As I said, they expected things from me they didn't tell me about. I had to wait another half an hour in the waiting room (number 343) before I was called in.

This was in German of course, but I'm pretty sure my translation is right on the nose.

Big German Lady: Ok, so what in zee hell makes you zeink you have zee right to teach English? Where did you study it? Where is you certificate?

Me: Um. I speak English, here is my CV, it says right here I speak English.

BGL: Zeat is not enough. Other German Lady, is that enough? You don't know? I must ask my other colleague, please wait in the waiting room.

Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

I wait in the waiting room and write frantic-scared-shit text messages to Jens. Start to fantasize about having to leave my wonderful apartment and go back to Minneapolis and having to tell the school that I can't work for them after all and having to tell everyone I know that life sucks and is not worth living. 11 years, 2 months, 4 hours, 30 minutes and 7 seconds later they call me back (343 flashes again on the score board).

BGL: Insurance?

Me: Yes, here.

BGL: Go pay 50 euros.

Me: Ok! Sure you don't want 500???!!!

(Me: Mench, das hatte mich aber erschrocken.
BGL: Ja, ist schon ok.)

Whoa. Not only does she show me the visa she's about to put in my passport, but it costs 10 Euros less than they told me it would! That's like getting 16 German Biere.

The other 23 doctuments they of course didn't actually need and the photos I paid like 20 dollars for were also useless, they used mine from before.

That means that I LIVE HERE IN BERLIN. No one's kicking me out! And I'm not on a program, I really just live here and work here! That is so unbelievably weird. It expires next Oktober, but I should be studying by then and not need it.

This means it is now illegal now that I'm working at a community college equivalent (Volkshochschule) on Fridays teaching two English classes for beginners (often in German!).


Look at that there. I'm a teacher. My name and everything.
Right between Bier and Fürk (not at all German names).

This is all very exciting.

Visa Update

So.

I decided to go to the Ausländerbehörde (Foreigners' Registration Office) and beg for an appointment because I had to start working.

And let me tell you.

This place is fun.

I met a nice Pakistani man who I talked to for the hour and a half that I sat in the waiting room. Who told me that everyone goes in to make an appointment, that's what he was doing. Whoops. That's a mistake I won't be making again. Stupid Germany. Why can't I do this online.
And you won't be surprised to hear that once my number (209) was finally called, they told me they couldn't help me and that I should go to another room upstairs. Luckily I didn't have to wait there too.

This was also great.
(GIVE ME AN APPOINTMENT)

Even better is this *somewhat* racist statue (reminder: at a Foreigners' Office).
(The good ol' happy go lucky poor drunk black guy, who doesn't want one of those?)

And finally they give me an appointment...for when? Weeks and weeks later. September 17th. That's this week! Now it doesn't seem that bad, but I made that appointment two weeks ago. And I actually needed that for my apartment and to uh, work. But I'm working anyway...hopefully that won't be a problem since I won't be paid until October anyway.

I'll need...
- My passport
- General Formula
- Proof of insurance (that's a post in and of itself, but in short: Germany sucks, won't give me insurance as a freelancer for under 600 Euros, so now I have travel insurance and will be paying for any and all preexisting conditions myself. So long, preexisting idea that Germany is perfect)
- At least 2 offers for work (we'll see if two different schools work)
- A letter saying why a European can't do the job (because Europeans aren't as smart as Americans)
- Registration for my Apartment (will Ariella's apartment be ok? Close enough?)
- Something I guess I don't understand and need help with..
- And last but not least: 60 Euros.

Oh, and of course.. at least 3 things they forgot to tell me about but will hold me accountable for anyway, I'm sure.

At least I have a bank account with money in it from some translation work (goldmine apparently). And know this, people: you don't need a visa to get a bank account. Don't listen to the people at Postbank.

Posts about anything but visas to come. Look out.

Aufenthalts Erlaubnis

I'll write more once I get my camera cord but for now I'm going to complain about not being able to get a visa yet.Why oh why is it so hard. Because Germany...well, any office anywhere isn't run well. Maybe in Sweden. But that's it.

I have to wait for them to e-mail me with an appointment time. I waited like a month. Then they finally e-mailed me! But only to ask if I was going to work freelance or as real employee. Freelance! Now will it be another Month before I get an E-mail? AHHH